by Mariana Trapera ©2010 EFT- CC
Lena (not her real name) came to see me some 9 months ago with a long list of issues that were causing her to feel unhappy with life, and we have worked together in about 8 sessions. My main modality in sessions is EFT, and I use a motivational coaching style and psycho-educational approach (when necessary). Lena’s main goals were to reduce her negative thinking, and feel more optimistic about her life.
Presenting issues were: loneliness; anxiety; depression; negative thinking and worry; waking up feeling lost and empty; confusion; feeling stuck; some social anxiety, not comfortable meeting new people; stress at work and difficulties with boss; feeling ignored and rejected (boyfriend of 6 years, plus her friends in Europe where she came from were not emailing her); and some ongoing physical symptoms that had been affecting her health for some time.
Lena, an intelligent and self-aware 30 year old, was a willing participant in sessions as she was motivated to feel better about her life. She felt overwhelmed at times with all her difficulties (although after a few sessions many similar ‘trees’ fell away easily). We did not plan what issue to work on as there were many, so sessions began with where she was at on the day – what emotion or physical discomfort she was struggling with. Invariably this led us to other aspects and events, to her upbringing, and how the negativity and criticism of one parent has impacted on her life (writing on her wall) to cause her to feel fearful and lack inner peace. She felt burdened by her father, and often had to listen to him when he was himself depressed. “Nothing is ever just great or OK for him!” Over time, she began to ‘see’ the links between a lot of her current negative mood and reaction to events and people, with her childhood experience of living in a very negative environment.
Lena was also not feeling fulfilled in a vocational way, though she worked part-time in fashion. She had a love for wildlife, and was passionate about studying and working with animals.
Gradually at each session we worked through many issues. I often started a session with the Constricted Breathing technique when I intuitively felt she was constricted. A few times she emailed me with her progress, difficulties or feelings, and I offered email support with affirmations to tap on that I believed might help, and reassure. At subsequent sessions I tested for intensity about any concerns raised in these emails – this was a helpful benchmark as she was able to clarify if an intensity still existed for more detective work, or an issue had changed in quality, or did not bother her anymore.
At our last session in February 2010, Lena shared her journey and progress with me for this story, though she wanted to remain anonymous.
Self-Image – at one of our sessions Lena said she was never satisfied with her image, and felt fatter than usual when she glanced in the mirrors at work. We tapped on affirmations, ie. ET when I look in the mirrors and see cellulite thighs, I love and accept myself anyway. After reducing her dissatisfaction somewhat, I introduced CHOICE affirmations – ET when I look in the mirrors at work and still see my cellulite thighs, I CHOOSE to focus on my good points, etc. When she ran the ‘mirror’ movie again, she found she was only looking at her face (which is beautiful)!
Stress at work with boss – Lena experienced criticism from boss and this caused her anxiety, and there was never any praise for the good work she did. We tapped on many aspects and issues as they arose from session to session, ie. ET I get upset when my boss comes into work; ET my boss talked behind my back, and it made me so angry, I deeply and completely accept myself (and after, I CHOOSE to stay calm) . When re-running the movie, all she could bring up was pity for her boss. After a couple of sessions on the specific situations and feelings, she found she could go to work and cope better with her boss’s offhanded and critical manner. Lena also felt uncomfortable with customers at times, and in our last session she reported that she is more relaxed with customers, and does not feel anxious going to work.
Social Anxiety/ Meeting new People – a week before Xmas she felt anxious about going to a party where there would be other young slim and fashionable women. She felt “fat and unsexy”, and didn’t want to go. We tapped and reduced her fears down to a zero. When I enquired post-party how it went, she replied that it was great! And I sensed that she may not have remembered her initial intense anxiety, and how EFT had worked so well! This is a good example of the subtle effects and cognitive shifts that occur, that Gary Craig talks about.
Relationship with partner – Lena felt alone quite a lot as her partner was either working, or engaged in study. She didn’t feel No 1 in his life. He was ‘not there’ for her, and she blamed him mostly for her depressed mood. They had been together 6 years and sexual relations were virtually non-existent in the previous few months (also due to her physical condition). We tapped on many many aspects of their relationship, as well as her physical symptoms – here are just a few examples
ET Andre says he is not the reason for my depression, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
ET Andre says I complain often, and have no love for myself, I WANT to accept myself
(I often have clients say “I WANT to accept myself” in the acceptance part as many times when I check in, they reply that the regular statement is not true for them).
ET I often get disappointed with Andre, and feel let down when he doesn’t support me, I accept myself anyway. And a positive round, I CHOOSE to believe he is doing his best.
One month later Lena reported that they had had a deep and meaningful discussion that resulted in a night of passion. She said she “felt heard” and “acknowledged” for the first time in ages, and that her partner was more understanding and supportive. At our last session she informed me that everything is going well, they are taking one day per week to do something special that she likes, ie. excursions into nature, and she feels happy.
Feeling ignored / Friends – when we cleared issues around rejection feelings and feeling ignored, she began receiving more emails from her friends. Towards the end of our time together Lena had made a new female friend who she was enjoying spending time with.
In all our sessions, we have done a lot of work around her anxiety, negativity and lack of self-worth. I have used reframes often, with the result that she has experienced many cognitive shifts about the possibilities, and how her life could be. When testing for results or intensity, I often asked her to “tell the story” . I regularly gave her homework, introduced her to journalling – morning pages to start the day, and instructed her in simple meditation using the Heart Math technique.
When last seen, I began testing for results – about her initial concerns when she first saw me. Lena reported that she doesn’t feel empty anymore, she is more accepting of her parents, and is generally happy with her partner. Her fear of life has turned into faith. I have also referred her to a woman doctor who specializes in hormonal issues, for a checkup, and/or subsequent treatment.
However, as she talked about returning home for a holiday soon that she was looking forward to, she brought up another issue about anxiety about flying in planes, due to past experience of turbulence. We then finished the session with more tapping on the various aspects of flying, ie.
ET I still feel anxious about flying, I accept these feelings
ET I remember the feeling in my stomach that caused my heart to flutter, I love and accept myself
ET I was scared when the plane dropped, just maybe it’ll be a smooth flight this time.
ET I still have anxiety about flying, I’m going to be ok, etc. When she ran a future movie of getting onto the plane and going home, she experienced a sense of excitement about seeing her parents and friends again.
I am looking forward to hearing from her after her arrival in Europe, as she has indicated she will keep in touch.
Mariana Trapera has been working intuitively with people using a variety of energy therapies for 16 years to assist them to feel better physically and emotionally, first as a bodyworker, followed by work in Counselling and then EFT since 2004. Mariana is based in the Northern Rivers of NSW, and has post graduate Diplomas in Applied Counselling and Social Ecology, and energy therapy qualifications in EFT CC, Reiki Master and Qi-gong. She has also worked as a Careers Counsellor and Case Manager with clients in government agencies, as well as in private practice.
Mariana can be contacted on mob 0430 175 923, via skype “Mariana Trapera”, email her at marianatrapera@gmail.com or visit her website: www.eftvibrations.com
